I Love Myself Today...

Not like yesterday...  (Bif Naked, for those who have no clue.)

18 days left in the journey, and it is time for me to reflect on things so far.  On how I am feeling.  Both physically and emotionally.  So we will start with the easy one.  Physically, I feel great.  I feel stronger than ever.

I feel like I could take on the world, while upside down, with headphones in my ears.  :-)   In all seriousness though, I do feel amazing.  I find myself pushing harder, running longer, and striving to reach goals I never would have even imagined setting in the first place, cause there was no way I was going to complete them.  Or even come close.  But that has all changed.  I know now that I am only limited by what I allow myself to be limited by.  So bring it on world.  I can take it.

Over the past 7 days, I have walked/ran a total of 38.32 miles.  To me, this is a huge accomplishment and it has given me the courage to attempt to complete the original goal I set for myself.  In my original blog post about my goals, found here, I mentioned that one of my goals was to be able to run with the girls that I coach.  And this Thursday, when we have practice, I am going to do it.  I have been contemplating this all night.  Worried that I wont be able to complete the run.  But then I realized what I stated just moments ago.  I am only limited by myself.  If I want to run, I will run.  And I will complete it, because I know I can.

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Now, emotional...
This is a different story.  

Emotionally, most days I feel ok.  But there are some days that I am frightened.  I am frightened of something that is going to seem really stupid.  But I am frightened of failure.  I worry about letting everyone down.  Everyone that invests their time in reading my blogs, or liking my posts or watching my silly YouTube videos.  I worry about letting my family see me struggle.  I worry that if I have an off day, what kind of looks or comments I would get from those that know my journey, if they actually saw me give in to the doughnut, or the snickers bar.  (Both of which I must confess I have had during this 60 day journey.)  But I can't feel this way.  I cannot feel bad for the choices I have made.  I am not perfect.  I am only human.  I will struggle.  I will fail.  I may even flop around on the floor like a fish out of water all while throwing a fit about who knows what.  But I will also be successful, as long as I believe I can be.  As long as I believe that I am.  I have to learn to know that those wonderful friends, loved ones, family members and even acquaintances that support me aren't looking at me in horror for wanting a piece of candy or a cookie.  They are not standing by watching and waiting for me to fail.  They are there to support me.  Through every bit of it.  They will be there regardless.  So with that I must say goodbye to the pressure that I have placed on myself.  For it was not placed there by anyone else but me.

Thank you to everyone.  Your support has meant the world to me, and while I can now say that I could have completed this journey on my own, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to.

Here is to hoping that the 60 day results look just as amazing as the first 30 days!